Monday, August 21, 2006


This 900-year old dagger has only been used once and is in perfect condition. The knife and it's equally ornate sheath were forged in platinum and given as a birthday gift from Mongol ruler Ghengis Khan to his younger brother. The charging horse on the hilt symbolizes the Kahn's fearsome style of attack, while the sleeping dragon on the sheath represents a warning to would-be invaders. The history of the knife's single use, like so much of the Kahn's legend, is bloody.

Considered the black sheep of the clan, Ghengis' brother chose not to enter the family business of savage military conquest, followed by savage political rule. Rather, he amused villagers with rhythmic love songs featuring empathetic themes. As the older Kahn's power and empire grew, so too did his reputation as the most feared barbarian on the Eastern continent. But with this, his brother's tender profession became an excruciating embarrassment to Ghengis. The rift grew and became irreparable after Ghengis caught his younger sibling wrinkling his nose at a magnificent display of piked heads that Ghengis commissioned for his Royal yurt. That very evening, at a feast honoring Ghengis and his benevolent reign of terror across Asia, the prince took a sip of overheated egg-drop soup and squealed in pain. Infuriated at his brother's display and the muffled laughter of the court, Ghengis shrieked, "You behave like a woman. So you will be a woman!" Exhibiting the propriety and justice for which he was famous, Ghengis snatched the horse-dagger from his brother's belt and gelded the young man on the spot, using his own knife. The irony is thicker than a yak skull, as the eunuched prince's next song, "I Feel For You," went platinum.

2 comments:

Dwardisimo Rex said...

I'm not sure if this makes your history lesson more interesting or not but check it: Chaka Kahn's recording of "I Feel for You" that climbed the charts in the mid 80s was actually a cover of a 1978 Prince number. As is the case with most early Prince tunes, he performed it in his signature falsetto. A vocal delivery reminiscent of the 16th century Castratos who sang at a high register because they had their teabag removed just before the hit puberty.

poppersmoke said...

Hey, I never noticed that Chaka Kahn has the same last name of the guys in my completely factual history. That's amazing.